The Big Fact”
You have no idea what’s coming next for you. Not a f*cking clue. If you think you do, you need to keep reading.
When it comes right down to it, you don’t know what’s next.
Not next week.
Not next month.
Not next year.
Not even in one hour from now.
Maybe fifteen minutes from now (but also, probably not).
How do I know this?
When I say I know this, I really know this. From first hand experience.
On August 11th, 2015 I walked out of an AA meeting at 4:40 PST and received a phone call from the Asheville, NC Police Department and they told me my father had suddenly passed away.
On June 30th, 2018 I woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning to a message on Facebook about cops outside my sister’s house in Vermont. She had suddenly passed away that morning.
So yeah, we have no idea what can be coming down the road for us.
In August of 2013, newly sober, I was supposed to be heading to Los Angeles to follow in the footsteps of Drew Rosenhaus and Scott Boras, and become a sports agent.
That didn’t happen and I ended up in San Francisco and my life got amazing.
You never know what the universe has in store for you.
This means that when you’re struggling you need to do everything in your power to fight hurt, face the pain and get better. The pain is there for a reason. That reason is to teach you something. I know this might sound like some woo-woo, spiritual gangster type of opinion, but it’s not. This is a fact; any pain you ever feel is happening to teach you something.
This lesson goes all the way back to the first time you touched a hot stove when you were a kid. We all did it, it’s a damn right of passage. The pain of that burn taught you that stoves are hot and you need to be careful around them going forward.
Before we go on, I’m giving you an out right now, because it’s about to get hot in here.
If everything is all hunky-dory, and your life is grand, and you have absolutely nothing troubling you, you can stop reading right now, and go on your merry way.
You’re still reading? I totally didn’t expect you to be… But I’m really glad you are.
If anybody answered yes to that “question” above and took the out I offered, they are either lying to themselves or they need to share what they’re doing with the world because they’ve found the The Holy Grail.
What you are struggling with right now is a marker. If you’re over the age of 25, you’ve probably ridden a similar struggle bus before. The reason you’re riding it again is because, for lack of a better way to put it, you didn’t learn your lesson the last ride.
This marker is telling to stop, and take a look at some things you’ve been avoiding for longer than you care to admit. We all know The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This rule is about others, and we should all be nice to other people.
But there’s another rule about how you treat yourself, how you love yourself, and how willing you are to be the best version of you that you can be.
For some, their best version is sitting with pain because it’s comfortable and familiar. Maybe they even feel like they deserve to be in pain and “this is just the way it’s supposed to be for me…”. Crazy, I know.
I’ve neeeever engaged in that behavior, just heard people talk about it.
The Golden Rule For Self Love: What does not get repaired, will get repeated.
If you think about it, it’s kind of the same as the OG Golden Rule, with a slight modification; Do unto yourself as you would do unto others. You’re nice to other people, and you want to help them walk through their fires, and love them, and forgive them, all the things… that we don’t do for ourselves.
Let’s get back to what’s coming next for you and tie it all together. We have no clue what’s next for us.
Soooo…. If you’re waiting, hoping for something great to happen, or come your way I have a secret for you. It’s already on its way. And it’s coming quickly.
Are you ready for it? Really, really ready for it?
If you’re still sitting in your pain, and not fighting for yourself…
If you’re numbing out your pain with booze, drugs, sex, relationships, food, shopping, or some other fix…
If you’re not using this pain as a teacher…
If you’re wasting this pain by wishing it away…
You are not ready for the opportunity that’s on it’s way to you. You’re just not.
Read that again: You are not ready for the opportunity that’s on it’s way to you. You’re just not.
Sorry *not really* if that hurts- but you need to hear it.
The worst part is that thing, that relationship, that job, that whatever you want so badly is going to arrive anyway.
The Big Bad Truth:
If you don’t do something about what got you where you are right now, and fix it, when whatever it is arrives, you won’t be ready for it. You’re either going to fuck it up (again) and be right back into pain or you’re going to miss it completely.
The Big What To Do:
Handle your sh*t. Plain and simple. Deal with your pain. Get to the root of the problem.
Make yourself the most awesome you can now so that when that wonderful thing, person, opportunity arrives you’re ready for it.
The Big Trick:
Do it for yourself, don’t be attached to said thing, person, opportunity.
Why? I already told you; you have no freaking clue what’s actually next for you.
If you work on yourself now for some specific thing, it will not end well. You’re going to have a bad time.
Just work on yourself for yourself. Yourself is the only thing that you can be sure of that will be part of your future.
Every second of your life is an unknown and also a clean slate.